Are you ever too old to achieve a dream career

So, I am sitting here in class,  don't worry I am all finished my work. :),  and it occurred  to me that in   3 months I will be 30 and I am only now really focusing on dreams in my life.  "Is 30 to old to be trying to get a career ?"  I don't believe so,  I think some of us just do everything backwards from the norm.  

    Growing up you learn, school then career then family and like most people that is not how it goes unless you have planned your life that way and if you have bravo on archiving that for yourself.  "Is it a lot tougher to achieve a dream like this when if your like me have been out of school for 12 years ?. "

       Most defiantly it is you have bills, partners, possibly children, and a job that's keeping you afloat.   You rack in your head if this is the best choice and could you actually see yourself slowing down in life pace and actually accomplishing this dream you probably have had since you were in your teens. It is possible with the right support and understanding of yourself and if you truly believe you can give yourself the chance at your dream career I say go for it no matter you age,  as I look around today I see young and old all trying to just make a better life for themselves,  why because they decided they were worth it.
     My suggestion this STOP and think while you are working today..... Can I see myself doing this job for the next 5 years,  heck even the next year.... If not chances are either a) your not happy with your employer or b) you just hate your job in general.  That's what happened to me a light bulb went off and it was like nope I can't do this anymore nor do I want to, the wheels were set in motion and here I am today a proud college student giving myself a chance .

Give yourself a chance no matter your age to achieve a dream.

Wondering.

You know today I sit here and wonder.... When does it all stop in life... The fighting to be who you are, the right to just be allowed to make a mistake without having to pay for it your whole life,  even if you stood up and said yes I was wrong, you continue to pay for someone else's feelings, thoughts and ideas about you.
       When do we say I'm sorry, but now you are the one who is in the wrong, the one who is causing the problem now.  I for the most part keep my private problems quiet and to only talk to those who have proven they can be trusted.  Others take and put all they private matters out there casting blame and hatred about those who have betrayed them, or snarky comments.  Do people do that thinking it will make things better for them? It doesn't sure you get your anger or displeasure out, but what your actually doing is causing anger and displeasure in someone else , thus projecting the problem even further then it needs to be.  I can sit here and call out people and the things they have said about their supposed best friends or their family but I won't why because I have a heart, and moral compass to know that is wrong,  nor would I put my problems emotionally that I have and I'm not just talking about stuff that has been shown to me and caused hurt.  Why because really I wanna be sunshine in someone's day,  make someone feel better when they are down.  Not be angry because life has thrown me punches and kicks that yes frankly some I deserve but others I don't.

Trust me when I say I will never call anyone out.  But I will make a point of standing up for myself especially when I feel I am being attacked when people think I won't find out.

Friendship after Love

It has been awhile since I have written and I want to talk about the after effects of a breakup, is it OK to try and be someones friend even after all the bad things have been said and done? or is it a waste of time due to hurt feelings... because emotions will always be there.  

I have had to ask myself this recently, and have come to the conclusion that most people are right, you cannot be friends especially if the relationship ended badly, it becomes a sick game of who is right and wrong, who can hurt the other one more,  who intentionally does things and who doesn't.  

I think sure you start out as friends and even become best friend and when you take that step into becoming a couple that friendship is instantly gone you don't focus on friendship you are now one and must do as you think your partner wants you to, you actually always become a different person and don't think you don't everyone will tell you different if they are honest people, your activities change to always doing everything together, you loose your individuality as a person in a relationship vs a person who is just a friend to someone.  It is sad really.. most people are awesome together as friends support each other and everything... even if they hate each other one day chances are a sorry or what not can fix it depending on the circumstances, but in a relationship most of the time a sorry and explanations mean nothing.  If a person is hurt they are hurt and usually things don't turn out well.  

SO think about this next time you think your falling for you friend,  is it worth what you could loose, sure be a risk taker but don't be surprised in the end that if something happens most likely you will never have your friendship back. 

S

Blurring the line

Virtual worlds vs the real world..........
     We use them to escape the real life and whatever we may be running from,  but then they become more real then our real life,  feelings develop... feelings get hurt...People go on  these worlds looking for acceptance and respect, and let me tell you its no different in the virtual world then it is in the real world.  Sure your avatar can be the prettiest one or the most popular but you are still you, your feelings and emotions, thoughts are conveyed through this avatar. People are still fake and full of drama others are quiet and shy.  You got your nerds,jocks,music lovers, art lovers, parents, couples, marriage, people looking for love.

         When I began going on them I was trying to escape my loveless relationship,  All was great in the beginning until I met him.  Perfect...cause that's what i needed someone to love me more then physically, someone that I could connect on a deeper level with.  We met he was sweet and kind and fun, after that found out we didn't want the same things in life after that I told myself nope never again....went a long time before it happened again, this time it was a whirlwind of emotions and craziness not in a bad way, to some my life didn't change that fast but for me it did.... felt like i was on a ride i couldn't stop... left a relationship real life after I had already started one online which wasn't fair to either party, I know that now again I didn't feel loved and really wasn't looking for it this time online it just happened, and it got real to... It was a wake up call to me going.. "whoa what are you doing" you are acting like your mother jumping one relationship to the next cause you feel like you are not strong enough on your own, not being over someone but needing the feeling of someone wanting you.... to say the least it did not end well, and out came the claws and childish high school routine of people blaming and say thing things they know nothing about,  hmm sound familiar for a lot of people I am sure when they were in school.

   So really there is no difference in a virtual world you cant hide what you going through eventually someone is going to find out you are not perfect or you got skeletons in your closet... chances they wont accept them, again you think you will be accepted but you have to be realistic people are out to feed their own needs.  its why they are there, they feel stronger, beautiful, handsome, confident, vibrant, popular.  People will be quick to judge you and your decisions negatively because they don't have to see your true face heck they can just block or delete you and never think twice.  In the real world you cant run from your problems they will always catch up and escaping into a virtual world can do more harm to you then you can even realize, till its to late they have blended together.


S

Army of one

Cast your words, throw your stones...there will be no broken bones.

hold my wrists...tie me down.....let the reign of hate fall down..

You will not win this time, taking back whats mine.

Scribbling down all these thoughts...ripping at my mind like hungry dogs 

Stumble around in this thick fog, trying to find what things mean, hoping this is just a horrid dream.

Tripping, slipping.... but I will keep getting up dirty,scratched and bruised.  

I am stronger with every hurt, lovelier with every new scar, smarter with every war.

I am a warrior against my own darkness, fighting without a sword.... using what I can and know to give the final blow. These words are my army protecting whats left.  

S

Castle Of Glass - Linkin Park Lyrics

Take me down to the river bend, 
Take me down to the fighting end, 
Wash the poison from off my skin
Show me how to be whole again

Fly me up on a silver wing
Past the black where the sirens sing
Warm me up in a nova's glow
And drop me down to the dream below

(Chorus)
Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass
Hardly anything there for you to see. 
For you to see

Bring me home in a blinding dream 
Through the secrets that I have seen 
Wash the sorrow from off my skin 
And show me how to be whole again

(Chorus)
Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass
Hardly anything there for you to see. 
For you to see

(Bridge)
Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass
Hardly anything else I need to be 

(Chorus)
Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass
Hardly anything there for you to see. 
For you to see
For you to see

I Wish

I wish upon a million stars.........to never cause you pain..
to see the tears roll down you cheek, and say my name in vein.

let me hold your hand and be your friend, tell you its going to be ok, smile, talk.  Listen to you .... be that comfort and support you need. 

 Hug you when you need it, laugh , live ...love.

To show that there is a rainbow at the end of every storm, that the sun can shine in the cloudiest day.

I cant because I have pain....and that's not fair to you, being caught up in my pain only causes more.    

I wish I could just get over it ..smile and truly be happy , so I can be happy for you.

Please forgive me for the things I do, The way I am ........


S