I wanna to state that I am not exactly sure what blogging is and if this is wrong then well find yourself to another page. Also there may be things on here that people find offensive and so forth I will do my best to judge what i type but sometimes i get carried away, so again find yourself another page.  

    So to begin I pose the question, what person is actually normal?  emotionally , physically, mentally... we all have family problems, scars that people can and cannot see, not one person is perfect.  Why do we try so hard to be perfect when it is not realistically possible.  My bog will have a lot of stories from my personal life... struggles, accomplishments, mistakes and best things i ever did.  You will also find poetry and personal choices in music that have been helpful in dealing with a lot of different areas because frankly I love music.  

        Alright here goes.. So I m just shy of 30 and only beginning to see and accept a lot of things that have happened.  Like i said everyone has family problems mine are no different, I come from a broken home mother and father divorced .. the story i m not quite sure they both have different ones.   I grew up with my father along with my younger sister.  My poor father two little girls to deal with couldn't have been easy considering we moved into a complex that was all single mothers and he had to take their stares and comments about how wrong it is for a man to have to little girls.  Then the calls to child services went in saying how he wasn't taking care of us and so on which was bull, my father did the best he could.  They tried to take us away good luck you obviously don't know my father lol..... anyways so for the first few years we didn't see my mother a whole lot busy dealing with her life and my older sister.  

                So around that time I had met a nice girl named Michelle... when I first started hanging around with her, her mothers bf was nice, drank a lot but nice... until I started staying over.. not to go into graphic detail but child molestation happened, it has taken me 28 years to really accept and actually talk about it.  I first talked about it to a very close friend.  Who sat a read a book with me on it... trying to understand what I felt deep inside as a women.  Felt very exposed and vulnerable, that I had let out my dirty secret for this person to hear what would they think of me on a personal level, could they really get that it has affected so much...They did, was very shocking to me. I had been so closed off from those feelings that I forgot what it felt like to let someone in.  I found a good website where I could go and talk with people who have been through the same thing and some who have been through other tragic things a place where I wouldn't feel like  omg everyone is going to think I am nuts and could write straight from the heart and the dark place I felt.  http://www.survivorschat.com/  I encourage anyone who need a place to let their story out confidentially to go there post it, you will feel some relief  knowing your not alone.  You may even come across my story, I will continue on another day hope to see you back.